Five weeks ago we welcomed home our first child—Jonah Oliver
Salter—and he has captivated our hearts ever since. This first month as a family of three has
been a wild ride: lots of smiles and laughter and joy but also our fair share
of tears and heartache. The constant
refrain, however, has been God’s faithful provision and His merciful grace. Here's the first part of the story.
I’ll start with Jonah’s surprise arrival. It's such a strange feeling to reflect on the birth of your first child. The experience still feels very foreign and strangely distant to me. It's "other-worldly". All the words I can think of to describe it don't quite fit. But I'll try, anyways. Because I don't want to forget it.
3:30am: Early Friday morning, May 23rd (two weeks and 4 days before my due date) I woke up to a strange feeling, almost a grinding or popping, in my belly; nothing painful, but definitely something unfamiliar. I spent the next half hour laying in bed wondering if I should look it up on the internet or call my doctor. By 4:00am I started having contractions and around 5:30 I woke Jake up so he could start timing them with his Contraction Timing app (which he installed on a whim a few weeks prior). We laid in bed together for about an hour timing my contractions.
7:30am: We checked into the hospital and they put us in a triage room. The nurse checked my progress and said “Hmm, you’re either 0 cm or 6 cm.” What!? Dear Lord, if I'm 0 cm then what the heck has been happening to me the past 4 hours? She checked again, “Yep, you’re 6-7 cm. You’re having this baby today.” The nurse also informed us that all the L&D rooms were full, so I would have to labor in the triage room. I really didn’t care either way; I was in such intense pain, I could have been in a barn for all I knew.
8:00am: Jen, our awesome doula arrived, right in the heat of really painful labor. She immediately jumped in to help, got me on the birthing ball and as I was laboring on the ball, my water broke. It wasn’t a big splash, but it was clearly a gush of fluid. The pain of the contractions was unbelievable. It was searing hot and so intense, I couldn’t talk or think. It was like my body was trying to escape itself. I stayed on the ball for another hour and asked for the epidural a couple times. Jen convinced me to work through a few more contractions but finally I insisted, “I need the epidural now.” Jake assured her I was serious. And I definitely was.
9:30am: As luck would have it, the anesthesiologist popped in right at that moment just to check in. But of course they can’t give you the epidural right away; they have to do some tests (on my platelet levels) and get the kit set up. So they started the prep and I just remember thinking I was going to die if I didn’t get the epidural soon. Luckily, my anesthesiologist was super quick. I sat on the side of the bed, Jake in front of me, sitting down (everyone insisted; I guess fainting husbands are a common occurrence), holding my hand. I don’t even remember the pain of the numbing needle or anything else. All I remember was leaning into the shoulder of the nurse (evidently I told her that she smelled nice) while I labored through a contraction during the time when I was supposed to be “as still as possible”. Relief came soon after. It felt like the best decision I ever made. I was 8 cm dilated.
10:30am-1:00pm
Laboring pre-epidural and post-epidural could not have been more different and I’m thankful I experienced both. Without the epidural I couldn’t process any thoughts; my consciousness was completely overwhelmed by the pain. I barely interacted with anyone. I was very turned in on my body and myself. After the epidural I was relaxed, laughing, eating popsicles and chatting with Jake and Jen. Jake and I prayed together. We reflected on what was about to happen. We listened to my “Welcome Jonah” playlist (or as Jake wanted to call it: “Feeling Labor-y”, since I categorize my playlists by emotion :) ). I kept flipping from one side to the other every half hour since all the medication would drain down to that side and make it extra numb. Jen sat in front of me and rubbed my legs for a good 3 hours straight. Which was funny because during our pre-partum meetings, leg massages were the one type of massage I said I didn’t want. I liked it because it helped my lower body feel less numb. Somewhere around 11:30 Jake went down to the cafeteria and scarfed down a mediocre hamburger. He didn’t want to eat in front of me because all I could have were clear liquids. Honestly, I wasn’t that hungry. I was fine with crushed ice and red popsicles.
I think around 1:00pm they checked my progress again and I was fully dilated. I expected to be pushing within the hour, but evidently May 23rd was a busy day for babies: my doctor delivered 6 other babies that day and another mom was also about ready to push! So Dr. Philpott decided to let me “labor down” (wait) for another hour or two. I was in no big hurry, thanks to the epidural, so it was fine.
3:00pm: My nurse, Rhonda, finally came in and said that it was time to start pushing. We did about 30 minutes of "practice" pushing (whatever the heck that means; I definitely didn't want to waste any energy "practicing" anything). I wanted to push on my side, so I turned over to my right (looking out the window at the green tree-tops), Jake stayed at my head holding my hands (above the equator, so to speak), Jen held my left leg and Rhonda sat at my feet holding my right leg. Dr. Philpott came in after about 30 minutes and sat where Rhonda was and we kept pushing with each contraction: three pushes and sometimes a bonus push. The pushing stage was surprisingly enjoyable. Peaceful, even. The room was calm and my music was really soothing. It didn’t feel rushed or frantic or painful like I’d always imagined it. It took a lot of focused energy, but it wasn’t that hard or unpleasant.
4:00pm: After an hour of pushing, Jonah arrived! They put him right to my chest. I can't explain the feeling. It was overwhelming; overwhelming joy, overwhelming gratitude, overwhelming fear. Jake and I both cried and just stared at our son. He was gooey and crying and funny-colored and absolutely beautiful. Perfect. Jake and I had prayed for that very moment--meeting our son face-to-face--for my entire pregnancy. We had asked God to deliver our child to us safely and let us hold and kiss him. He was faithful.
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| Jonah Oliver Salter * May 23, 2014* 6 lbs. 5 oz. 20 in. 4:00pm |
Things that surprised me:
(1) The overall story: If I were a betting woman, I would have lost a lot of money on the circumstances of Jonah's birth. I would have bet that Jonah would be late, that I would have to be induced, even. I would have bet that my labor would be long, at least 24 hours. I would have bet that I would get the epidural long before 8 cm. Wrong. Wrong. And wrong.
(2) The pain: Everyone told me that the pain of childbirth is indescribable and the worst imaginable pain. They're wrong. It's worse. But then you get an epidural. (Shout out to Dr. Whats-her-name, my anesthesiologist!)
(3) The pushing phase: It was unexpectedly peaceful.
Some of God's Many Mercies:
(1) Healthy baby boy!
(2) Healthy mama
(3) An amazing husband who supported me, prayed with me, held my hand, rubbed my feet and was 100% present.
(4) Time for two rounds of antibiotics (since I was GBS+) but an otherwise short labor
(5) No induction, no c-section, no complications or scary moments
(6) I got a decent night's sleep the night before and most of my labor was during the day.
(7) Great nurses and an amazing doula, who helped us feel confident and prepared (as prepared as we could be)
(8) Breastfeeding wasn't easy, but it also wasn't awful and we got the hang of it pretty quickly
Did it go according to "plan"?
Ha. What a silly question. Of course not. I didn't really have a birth "plan"; I had birth "preferences". But still, I had done a lot of thinking about what I wanted my labor to look like. We took classes. We had a doula. We did lots of reading and practice. I wanted to labor actively, not passively (i.e. up and moving, in the shower, in the tub, walking the halls, etc.). I expected the first stage of labor to be really long and to need lots of different positions and strategies to endure it. Turns out, my first stage of labor was hardly 4 hours and was spent at home with Jake. I didn't have much time to try all those cleaver strategies we'd planned for :) Although I did enjoy the birth ball. And then after the epidural, I really enjoyed the bed :) I was afraid I'd feel like a prisoner hooked up to the IV and epidural in the hospital bed. Honestly, it was fine. The pain relief was so welcome that I enjoyed relaxing in bed. I wasn't necessarily aiming for a "natural" birth; I wanted to try to laboring without the epidural and use other coping strategies first, but I also wanted to feel like the epidural was a legitimate option, and not like it was a cop out or that I had failed. I honestly expected to get an epidural, even though it wasn't my "preference". I'm glad I got it.
Any regrets?
Only two.
(1) I wish my mom had been able to be there. She pretty much drove straight through from Texas and arrived around 8pm the day of Jonah's birth. I'm thankful she could meet Jonah so soon, but I wish she could have shared in his birth, too.
(2) I wish we had had time for Kolaches.
"From the fullness of God's grace, we have received one blessing after another." John 1:16
Indeed.
